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What should i do?

1 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-10 22:01
be me 25 y/o and finally landed a gf
shes into all the same shit i am
she kinda cute
few red flags like, overly clingy from the start
wants my attention 24/7 even when we just started out as friends from the beginning
so my gf is bipolar and depressed. Whenever we fight it usually starts off with her flipping a switch, blowing up in my face and she paints everything with a negative brush and everything is always my fault.
Objectively speaking shes always the one creating drama bullshit for no reason and she has a surprisingly a complete lack of empathy.
She deploys all these tactics where she will be fucking angry and steamroll with dumbass arguments and never let me speak, then cry and then rant more. I cant get a fucking word in. And if i do try to talk to her whenever shes quiet she gets mad because im not being nice to her etc even though she started all this shit by having no regard for me to begin with and by deploying these tactics shes effectively getting away with treating me like shit and making me the asshole in her mind.
I have been with her for a year now and before this i was completely stable and happy 24/7
2 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 04:46
>>1
Get her on lithium or kiss your formerly stable mental state goodbye.
3 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 05:20
>>2
shes usually fine but sometimes it takes so fucking little to get her upset and im a reasonable logical guy so i obviously get angry and argue why shes full of shit.
i try to be nice about it but she has given herself a green card to act however she wants because she can blame it on former cheating partners, her health, depression etc etc and it's such a fucking hassle. What would lithium do to her mood overall tho?
4 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 05:53
>>3
cheat on her
5 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 06:27
>>1
You're literally describing almost all women. Best is to just get pussy and ignore the rest.
6 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 07:00
>>4
nah, i am againt it as a point of principle. if i wanted to cheat id just leave her and be with someone else.
7 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 07:17
>>1
I dated a bipolar girl from 16 till 20. We broke up when she was manic and thinking she needed space outside of relationship to 'find herself'. I took the opportunity, as I saw this was doomed to fail in long run even though I cared for her. Last year she committed suicide. All the things you describe were the same, besides that she would listen to eventually and apologize, cause my argumentation was better than hers. If I were you, I would advise you to leave her, as she will ruin your life.
8 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 07:34
>>2
Doesn't work in the long run and fucks up your kidneys
9 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 08:08
>>7
besides that she would listen to eventually and apologize, cause my argumentation was better than hers
same shit here bro
she will either sleep on it and do this the day after or same day if she calms down.
I really dont want to leave her but shes fucking stressful and thats saying something cus i have a really calm and chill type of personality with a lot of patience.
she can turn the littlest dumbest things into a fight.
10 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 08:24
>>6
okay keep letting her stay rent free dude, having the upper hand in a relationship is that easy
11 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 08:41
>>9
Thats why you're together, yin and yang, order and chaos. Bipolar people crave stability and patience, because they lack it, so they seek it out in people and cling, only to find that it will never be enough. They think in black and white, right or wrong, there is no middle ground. You are either her wise king, or her tyrant. You can try all you can to have those precious moments where she idolises you, but in the long run, its not worth the stress and drama. It took me about 4 years to get over the emotional abuse and to 'trust' women again. Now with a new woman and I have a fight once a month. Its amazing.
12 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 09:15
>>1
This is probably bait, but I'm just finishing up my shit and I'm feeling kind.

This sounds more like BPD than bipolar. Like it doesn't sound like bipolar at all. Stable relationships with BPDs are possible but a lot of them lie, cheat, gaslight, drain, then dump for another cock to repeat the process. It depends on how severe she is and if she is willing to change.

It will be hard work and may not ever get better. You should probably quit and dump her. If you decide to keep the relationship going YOU NEED TO ESTABLISH HARD BOUNDARIES. When she blows up you need to calmly and politely tell her "I won't be spoken to this way, you need to take a moment and collect your emotions". If you can't do that - walk.

Communicate. Tell her that you're worried about her and you're worried that the relationship won't last unless you guys communicate better and that she needs to take better control of her emotions. Read/listen to "Stop walking over eggshells". Read up on "DEAR MAN" letters and write her one.

She needs to want to change and try to change. She needs to go into DBT classes - this is a type of emotional regulation therapy for people with BPD. You need to be patient with her and accept things will always be tough.

Only then you might have a chance. But it will probably end badly and you'll probably end up regretting being with her and she drains you and you codependently (read up on codependency) supply her until you and drained and dumped.

Godspeed and good luck.
13 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 09:32
>>1
Yup, thats a woman alright
14 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 09:49
>>12
it's not bait, just had a fight with her and i just needed a place to rant that wasnt her DMs so she doesnt get more pissed at me...
but thanks ill keep the advice in mind although im not in a place where i'd dump her. im just generally worried for the future of our relationship because of how unstable she is.
15 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 10:05
>>1
Rail her hard in the ass and dump her right after
16 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 10:22
>>11
sometimes i can fight with her only once a month and it's when shes like mentally trying to not get upset. She had been doing really well for about 2 weeks ish and it felt nice. but now she started again. and now i know it will be frequent going forward. And she will blame me. im trying to make her understand that when she flips the switch and escalates nothingburgers to high heaven, that is the reason we are fighting so she will stop the BS. But whenever the fight is going she is going to point to every negative thing that has ever happened and paint everything in a dark brush so it seems so hopeless.
17 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 10:56
>>1
this relationship will end up in murder/suicide.
18 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 11:13
>>14
I understand. I'm a problem solver so while I come up with solutions I get that often people just want to rant and let off some steam.

You should always take care of yourself. If you don't then you will get damaged.

Hard boundaries. Clear communication. Read/listen to "Codependency and me" and "Stop walking over eggshells". Get her in DBT therapy. Listen to what she says and engage in conversation about the new skills she's learning. Get her to a psych and get her meds if she needs them.

It's a wild ride man. A crazy chick who doesn't cheat will love you like no other and it's intoxicating. But it hurts and it's draining.
19 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 11:30
>>17
well she has said she used to be suicidal before she got together with me so suicide is a possibility sadly if i leave her. murder, nah.
20 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 12:03
Just remember the time of the month when she is pms ing. Then totally avoid her during those times. She will be super horney in the days before it hits.
21 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 12:20
>>19
ask Phil Hartman if murder is possible
22 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 12:54
>>18
sounds about right, ill try to make it work. But i feel like i can manage, i consider myself to be a very patient and calm person.
But when we fight her brain turns off so hard i lose a lot of respect for her and i show no sympathy when shes crying because i know its bullshit so she gets mad at me and says that i dont fucking care. and it's like well i wouldnt get mad at a child for being a child so im not going to sympathize with her when shes upset for no good reason. i do this because i dont want to legitimize her feelings when they are so invalid, last time i cried was when my dad died. i have a hard time respecting people who cry over almost anything.
23 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 13:27
>>21
well ill make sure we dont have any guns. which will be simple considering im in a european country. and we have mandatory military service so i can easily overpower her. she would have to sledgehammer my head in my sleep or some shit.
24 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 14:01
>>22
"I understand that you're upset and I don't want you to be upset, I want you to feel relaxed, happy, and safe. But I don't agree with your point. Can we please come back to it later when we're both calmer?"

Black and white thinking and suddenly blowing up is very BPD. Bipolar is usually days/weeks/months in one state or another.

A quick thing you can both do together right now is meditate. That's one of the cornerstones of DBT and you should do it too to prevent burnout from the relationship. Use one of the free meditations on Headspace app, or Spotify, or YouTube. Find a good 15 minute guided meditation. It'll be a great exercise to do together and bond.
25 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 14:34
>>24
aight ill look into it man, thanks
26 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 15:08
>>7
oh btw did you experience this?
in the beginning of our relationship she was generally more accepting of who i was as a person and we had a much more chill and open relationship but as time has gone on she has set up more and more rules and triggers that upset her.
We used to share porn and discuss positions we could try etc but now she doesnt even want me to look at fucking anime bitches in those youtube videos where some music plays with a still image. Like shes super self concious and doesnt want me to look at other girls even if its a still image of some anime girl.
And this applies to almost everything.
Topics she doesnt want to talk about, and usually its because weve had a fight about something. like we looked at houses we could buy together but i didnt agree with her sense of aesthetics so now we cant look at houses anymore because that triggers her.
And she used to be fine with me having opinions that disagreed with hers but now she gets super upset about them.
27 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 15:25
>>1
My first girlfriend is bipolar with dissociative disorder and has since been diagnosed with schizophrenia. When we were 16 she stabbed me in the leg with a fork after I told her I was going home to study. She fully believed I was going to her older sister's apartment to fuck her. Her sister lived more than 6 hours away.

She tried to run me over with my car at a roadside stop after she had a dream I was going to kill her. She had the dream while we were driving and waited until I stopped to take a piss to try to "getaway." She believed all her dreams were psychic so I had to have been planning to kill her.

She used to buy feeder rats then go to restaurant parking lots and check car doors. If the car was unlocked she would put two in the back seat and spread dog food under the seat.

She fucked like a porno flick bitch and pretty much ruined me for regular women. Did you know that having someone choke you and spit in your face while wrist deep in your pussy is not normal? Have you ever tried to choke someone while wrist deep in their pussy? Like a human accordion.

In college, she fucked everyone...man woman questionable aged high schooler...everyone, and then she decided she needed to date someone. She started dating a frat guy and cleaned up her act for the most part. Only sometimes he would piss her off so she would come over to my place and my roommate and I would run train on her.

She drank a lot like vodka in a coke can lot. She would blackout for days. All of this is just the tip and not even really her because in a way she was two people. One was a nice quiet even shy woman and the other was a drug-taking dick-sucking manipulative bitch that would cut you if you looked at her funny. Medication has really helped her, we can hang out without her showing me her pussy or trying to kill me or showing me her pussy to make it easier to try and kill me. I still avoid her but she ended up marrying my cousin.
28 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 15:59
>>27
This is what you have to look forward to
29 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 16:32
>>7
Last year she committed suicide
Damn dude, I hope you don't blame yourself. Who knows if you stuck with her she could have driven you to kill yourself too
30 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 17:57
>>1
Just dump her and never talk to her again, obviously.
31 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 18:24
>>1
Nobody really cares about you or "loves" you if "love" is even such a thing, everyone is just trying to gain something from you. Have you guys came to thar realization yet? If not I'm here to remind you.
32 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-11 18:34
16 years old me sitting on the porch at my girlfriend's house.
Girlfriend's parents are out of town and I just spent the day fucking her brains completely out of her head.
out of nowhere girlfriend appears with a knife in her hand
anon we have to go inside the neighbor is trying to spy on us.
I will fix this

No neighbor no one around

tell girlfriend no one is out there
she goes super quiet and moves toward the sink and picks up a coffee mug
I tell her she is beautiful and try to get her back into dick sucking mode
turn to walk back to the living room as mug fly past my head

WTF

like a spider monkey she is on me and I am getting beat
break away and go into flight mode
she is pitching shit at me like Sandy Koufax yelling that I am trying to let the neighbor see her naked and that I probably let him watch us fuck.
dodge another mug get hit with a spatula
manage to talk her down but she is still "off"
she lures me in by sitting me on the couch and putting her hear up
ah yeah blowjob time
she gets my dick in her mouth and then bites down
open hand slap that bitch like my name is Dolemite
beat rocks out of there with teeth marks on my pecker.
33 Name: Anonymous 2021-09-19 05:44
>>1
Dump her & find another gf.

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