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The RedCream Conundrum

1 Name: Anonymous 2017-05-30 20:56
No other topic is more important and explains better the demise of our society than the saga of Mr. RedCream. I would like to start by discussing RedCream's inveracities, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of RedCream's wicked conclusions rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into his world. Why do we want to do that? Because I normally prefer to listen than to speak. I would, however, like to remind RedCream that he should clarify his point so people like you and me can tell what the heck he's talking about. Without clarification, his proposed social programs sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don't really seem to make any sense.

Since most people oppose RedCream's impertinent, immoral programs of Gleichschaltung, he has had to portray satanic, vindictive exponents of antinomianism as vigilantes using every ophidian means imaginable. Plainly stated, there are some simple truths in this world. First, RedCream's gift -- or genius -- is how effectively he's able to use lethal violence as a source of humor. Second, so far, the response from his camp has been tardy and equivocal. And finally, he likes to cite poll results that "prove" that he answers to no one. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that contrary to my personal preferences, I'm thinking about what's best for all of us. My conclusion is that what's best for all of us is for me to free RedCream's mind from the constricting trammels of mercantalism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality.

RedCream can go on saying that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life but the rest of us have serious problems to deal with that preclude our indulging in such slatternly dreams just now. The problem is, if he honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from him. For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, pugnacious sandbaggers erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty. Worse yet, RedCream wants to turn nabobs of cronyism loose against us good citizens. We can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but I indeed hope you're not being misled by the "new RedCream". Only his methods and tactics have changed. RedCream's goal is still the same: to delegitimize our belief systems and replace them with a counter-hegemony that seeks to abet a resurgence of voluble irreligionism. That's why I'm telling you that this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about RedCream's foul-mouthed behavior but about the way that RedCream wants to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. Faugh.

The term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of RedCream. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I maintain that RedCream is a standard-bearer for the unbearable. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that I don't much care to share the same planet as RedCream? That's why I'm telling you that RedCream acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. In an atmosphere of false rumors and misinformation, the impact of RedCream's grotesque policies is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that RedCream is talking out of his posterior. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to RedCream.

When I state that nothing agitates and humiliates RedCream more than when I yank up anal-retentive, discourteous deadheads from the dark rocks under which they hide and flaunt them before the bright sunshine of public exposure, I'm merely trying to bring fresh leadership and even-handed tolerance to the present controversy. He accuses me of being hate-filled, yet it is he who is filled with hate. And he accuses me of being bigoted, while his offhand remarks show nothing but bigotry. Why does RedCream make those sorts of accusations, then? That is, what meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is RedCream going through now? Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: You'd have to be the town fool to contend that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the pudibund hands of stroppy slobs. That conclusion is not based on some sort of repulsive, pretentious philosophy or on RedCream-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that RedCream is unmistakably up to something. I don't know exactly what, but the last time I told his coadjutors that I want to drag him in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity they declared in response, "But RedCream is a model citizen." Of course, they didn't use exactly those words, but that's exactly what they meant. Now that you've read the bulk of this letter, it should not come as a surprise that some nugatory, insensitive swindlers don't have a clue. However, this fact bears repeating again and again, until the words crack through the hardened exteriors of those who would rip off everyone and his brother. I am referring, of course, to the likes of Mr. RedCream.
2 Name: Anonymous 2017-05-30 21:10
Meaning the indigenous population who are being murdered and sent to concentration camps so that foreigners with no legal justification can steal their land. Zionism is political cancer: it grows for the sake of growth.
3 Name: Anonymous 2017-05-31 06:54
4 Name: Anonymous 2017-05-31 12:57
The guy made one good thread (once) and seems to be riding the success of it to this day, so I don't really get what's so amazing about him.

He seems to be all over the place, and I still don't get what is his appeal, all I know is that he isn't naturally funny, and he even gives off a vibe of desperation which is entirely understandable, considering he doesn't seem to know what he's doing either.

Personally I don't read that guys threads because he relies too much on awkwardness to construct his "jokes", and the 'style' of 'content' he's selling as 'innovative' doesn't bring enough to the table to justify half of the shit he throws at you.

This middle ground between shitposter and spammer didn't work in the past and I don't see why it would start working now, just because he throws some jabs at sjws every now and then.
5 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-02 15:12
He was apparently. Once he threw a big dinner party, and at the end handed out chocolates laced with Spanish fly. It widens the blood vessels similar to viagra, but also causes irritation of the urethra. Imagine having a raging boner and the inside of your dick all irritated and itchy. Needless to say it turned into a huge violent orgy and sadly RedCream died.
6 Name: RedCream 2017-06-03 08:07
You RedCream Clones are merely shadows of a far greater and brighter source ... that being the original RedCream, myself. I hardly need to present proof, but on occasion ego rises within my awesome presence and some expression thereof ejaculates forth, hence:

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My BBCode skills are UNSTOPPABLE. Lest you grow unwary and back into a buzzsaw of doom, you must remain alert for such to avoid being whelmed, certes!
7 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-03 14:22

░░░░░░░░░░ ░▄▀▀▌░░░░

8 Name: RedCream 2017-06-03 15:01
My ASCII art is certainly superior. I win. I'm the real RedCream. Here's MOAR of my massively winful ASCII art:

9 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-03 15:48
You've got mail.
10 Name: RedCream 2017-06-03 16:15
You're getting caught by the Hotmail spam filter. I already have a list of distinctly non-gay email buddies from 4chan.

Protip: Fill your email with LESS GAY, and it should get through.
11 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-03 16:44
Make sure to "Wimp Yourself" with the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid website!
Wimp anyone you want, whenever you want, and however you want! Log on today, and start wimping!!!!
12 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-05 14:52
Hey man, mods are no longer banning you so I guess this meme is officially accepted. Congratulations; you're a meme.
13 Name: RedCream 2017-06-09 12:57
Forsooth the idiocrasis of your aptronym hereby revealed in this POAST of mine: you are Redcream for better entry.
Videlicet, the panhygrous of your creamy anus facilitate an intromission le cul sur la commode or whencesoever. Eftsoons and amain, I shall defend my dividend. (new meme)
14 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-09 15:34
Everything after your first word makes me think that you don't know anything about the history of RedCream.
15 Name: RedCream 2017-06-09 17:09
The real Cuntface, cuntfacing as usual. [SORROW]

Yet another cloan, cloaning my poasts as usual. [REGRET]

The real RedCream, RedCreaming as usual. [JOY]
16 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-09 18:12
Sure man.
17 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-10 20:37
Be me, junior year in HS
meet this new kid, not total potato but his arms and legs are fucked up. Had some sort of speech impediment as well.
lets call him jacob
jacob is a total prick, acts like hes tough shit, total smallman complex as im a rather large guy and he still tries to act like he can beat me up.
picks on alot of kids, im usually a nice guy so i lay back and take it like a bitch.
one day in a gym class jacob is shoving me with his broke ass arms and saying shit like "wot you gonna do bitch?"
knows hes a crip so i cant touch him.
starts making fun of my family and little sister who also goes to our school as a freshman.
look at my nearby friends, they all nod. Each of us has felt the lash of the tiny retards tongue.
do a quick check to make sure no ones looking this way as they form a half circle around us.
grab jacobs shoulder and he stares at me bewildered giving me that "how dare you touch me, im invincible" stare.
plant four sucessive punches into jacobs abdomen.
jacob collapses to the ground, gasping and vomiting.
quickly call the teacher over, say he collapsed.
teacher rushes him to hospital.
police come, they question me and my friends. All say the same thing, "he just collapsed officer, we didn't touch him".
police fuck off
turns out jacob had a ulcer or something in his stomach, my punches burst it. They think it happened naturally.
teacher coberates our story, jacob had been a little shit to teacher as well, he knows jacob is prone to lying about people and fucking with them.
jacob returns to school in a wheelchair. He'll have to use it till surgery scars heal as his stomach is apparently "oddly sensitive"
he avoids me and my friends for rest of the year.
switches schools the next.
graduate with no problems.
one of my teachers comes up to me, says he knows i punched jacob.
shakes my fucking hand
jacob apparently had abused alot of teachers, kid was apparently really evil about it too.
made fun of mister teacher mans autistic daughter.
was ready to kill the kid himself.
still keep in contact with him.
teacherman and friends all go out for drinks a week ago.
laugh about it.

Anyone else run into one of those tards that think they're invincible and fuck with nonpotatoes? Spread the story, maybe jacob will see it.
18 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-11 14:28

What do?
19 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-12 15:15
Be with girl over 10 years
Helping her pay for college
Working two jobs to support us both
Come home to clean house and dinner
We go out all the time with friends
Have amazing sex
She plays vidya games and loves anime
She's perfect for me
One day a friend comes to me
Tells me he saw her with another guy at a cafe
Think it could be her brother and shrug it off
Friend tells me he saw her again while I was working
This time got a picture
It's not her brother and they're holding hands
At work when I heard about it
Have to leave work early to continue talking with friend
He's spying on them for me
Gets more pictures of them kissing and hugging
And pictures of her getting back into my car and driving away
Know her whole family and they're not related
Finally ask her about it
Without a single word she stands up
And walks out the door

And that was the last time I ever saw her, I've only spoken to her through friends, her friends came by and picked up her things and that was that, 10 fucking YEARS ended in a single day, she wouldn't even tell me what was going on, her friends just told me "She found someone else, I don't want to get involved with it, let her go"
20 Name: SuperFratBoyExtreme 2017-06-13 07:03
i once acted like someone else on the internet because there was this kid i really hated, i messaged a mutual friend he liked as him and came off really creepy, she got a restraining order against him. im a sad human being.
21 Name: RedCream 2017-06-14 07:09
I'm the direct descendant of the real Jesus Christ, God. You can ask questions.
22 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-14 07:48
How long ago was this? If it's recent, I'd say give her time to reach out to you, but she obviously has been planning this out for a long time. She never gave the slightest indication that she was not happy? Did you ever ask if something's wrong and she would reply nothing (which is almost always bullshit when a woman says nothings wrong it's almost always the opposite case). Hang in there, bro.
23 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-16 14:30
What do you think about the baseball shooting in DC two days ago?
24 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-17 02:13
Sanders supporter got buttblasted that the communist Jew didn't become president, takes it out by shooting at members of the opposing party.
25 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-17 19:53
Autism Test:

Question 1: A cup of water costs $1.50 in total. The water costs $1.00 more than the cup. How much does the cup cost?

Question 2: If it takes 5 machines 5 minutes to make 5 widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets?

Question 3: In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake?

People who get these questions right tend to be more atheistic, and people who answer them wrong tend to be more religious, so:

Question 4: Are you religious?

Don't be faggots and look up the answers.
26 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-19 23:04
>>1 What's his name? Does he know he gets plastered all over 4ct?
27 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-20 05:19
50 cents
100 minutes
47 days
28 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-20 10:13

Good shit.
That entitlement.
29 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-24 05:41
I was at this party yesterday and was hooking up with this chick.

Only problem is she mentioned she has a bf.

Question: How do I make her dump him for me?
30 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-24 16:48
Enjoy his spit and his cum. Oh and the fluids of the guy she is gonna cheat on you with. Slut one day, slut forever.
31 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-24 22:36
I'm a man of the people, and as such I wipe the seat when I piss on it.

What's your excuse /lounge/?
32 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 01:24
why not stand in the toilet for taking a piss
33 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 04:11
Lay down inside the toilet and that won't happen.
34 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 06:58
I like to piss in a bottle instead. much more satisfying imo.
35 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 09:45
How retarded are you? I haven't pissed on a seat since I was 5.
36 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 12:32
The aim is strong in this one
37 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 15:19
Sometimes I piss on the seat and put it up afterwards to cover up the evidence!
38 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 18:06
I never take a shit except when I'm at home. i dunno, I just never feel like needing one. But when I get home I automatically need to take a good long dump

Also I piss on the seat, sometimes the toilet seat and the wall for amusement when Im bored. also dont leave papers or books or your bag laying around there if you know what I mean
39 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-25 20:53
prefers making a mess and cleaning it up instead of avoiding the mess in the first place.
You aren't too bright are you?
40 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-26 02:27
what if >>31 does it by accident?
41 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-26 08:01
Also I piss on the seat, sometimes the toilet seat and the wall for amusement when Im bored.
42 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-26 10:48
That's why you put the seat up, faggot.
43 Name: SuperFratBoyExtreme 2017-06-26 16:22
normie alert sound the alarm
44 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-27 14:00
⁂ Ꙭ ‰ ۩ ∑ Ω
45 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-28 19:07
Funny as fuck and relevant to your dipshit thread.
46 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-29 17:42
ITT: times you fucked yourselves
got impetigo infection same time as ringworm but didn't know
continued applying wrong ointment spreading to my hands
had impetigo on the whole bottom of my dick cause i beat my meat
About 6 days later at doctor i got right cream
47 Name: Anonymous 2017-06-30 18:33
Nice dubs. THere have been so many dubs in this thread I gotta start treating them as legit rolls lmfao
48 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-02 01:01
Anyone know of some porn where the girl is legitimately horny. I need some vids (or webm if that's all you got) where the guy is really making the girl cum and she's not just faking it. Much appreciated.
49 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-02 17:42
You are a fucking moron sir. All female pleasure during sex is fake. Women are soul-less and exist only to drain the spirit of men.
50 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-04 10:02
So some strange shit
Be raised up in a deeply Irish Catholic family
Dad is flushed with cash due to owning a company that gives shit loads to the church
At 18 be offered a job as a Priest
Take some off the top of the tithes
Six months later Dad dies of heart attack
God is punishing me for my sins
Take the money and go all out to try and contact my dad from the dead
After going to tons gypsies and indians I found a tarot card reader who seamed legit.
Then with a mystically attuned mind I went over to my church and go to the graveyard.
Dig up dear old dad I have to tell him what I did to the perish
I broke open the lid to the coffin and just looked at him
My eyes began to water then my dads head moved
I opened my mouth to speak but he then said

Jeanie was a spoiled young brat
51 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-05 13:49
Any fags been to CAMBODIA? Do I need a visa?
Also what else do I need to know before I go
52 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-06 17:36
Lots of Gooks/
53 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-07 21:24
Happy pizza, cheap dirty pussy, Buddhism!
54 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-09 01:11

Supposed to be one of the cheapest countries? Way cheaper than Bali and Thailand.
So keen to drink dirt cheap beer
55 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-10 04:58
This guy wants pizza

Going to Thailand at the end of the year myself. Tips also appreciated
56 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-11 08:45
Tomb Raider Temples, Red Khmer Killing Fields and one beach. That's about it.
57 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-12 12:32
Get your vaccines before you go, happy pizza, aids everywhere. Angkor wat ftw
58 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-13 16:19
Yeah, I've been there.

There's a visa requirement (for me, a Brit, and my gf, a Filipino), but it was "apply on entry" - you give them 40 USD cash and they give you a visa. Make sure you have some USD on you for it (40 is from memory, might be less/more).

Actual country is a shithole. I'm glad I went though. Check out their genocide museum. I suggest renting a tuktuk for the day and get suggestions from the driver. They won't speak good English.

Oh, btw, expect to be scammed/etc at every corner, esp if you're white. I'm still salty after some bitch tried to short-change me at a temple.

Oh, and I got the shits for like a week afterward.
59 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 02:40
OP here. Been to Thailand. Keen for Cambodia because of Thailand (right next to each other)

Cheap as fuck. Bangkok is a filthy hole so don't stay there too long, go somewhere chill and it's laid back as fuck. Get a $3 massage every day. And don't overpay for your beer. Buy it from a 7/11 or mini mart. Sooooooo cheap
60 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 03:00
what do I need to know before I go there?

61 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 03:35
What vaccines? Are they 100% necessary?
Yeah I'm pretty wary of that shit, and I've been to Thailand so should be ok. What gave you the shits?
62 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 05:45
Do I need a visa
What passport do you carry?
63 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 11:55
Dunno tbh. I ate some food at their stalls and probably swallowed some shower water so it could be anything. I regretted not getting vaccinated/etc..
64 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-14 18:05
That sounds sensible. Actually flying into Bangkok, curious about trannys and dive bars but I'll bet that gets old after about a day. Drugs and underage a serious nono
65 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-15 00:16
Oh, and what's thailand like? I haven't been there but kinda want to. Not for the pizza, mind..
66 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-15 06:26
Both of you. Fly to Thailand (bkk), take the train to the Cambodia border, spend the night at the town there. The next day grab a minibus to Ankor Wat. See the ruins, drink come beers at night. Two nights, then head back to Thailand, either up north to the hills, or down to the beach.

Phnom Penh is a shithole. Plenty of these to be seen in asia. SihanoukVille, meh. Why go to meh when you can be on a Thai beach.

Oh, don't go touristing places you shouldn't. Cambodia is not Thailand, shit get real very fast there. Ur face on a poster in the youth hostels if you get my drift.
67 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-15 09:31
Australian passport.

Yeah usually flying into a capital is cheaper. So yeah fly into Bangkok would be cheaper I guess. Yeah check it out but don't stay more than a night, it's filthy, stinks and sewer rats everywhere

Yeah it's awesome. Pretty cheap and chill, on the beaches and islands anyway. I went to Koh Samui it was great there
68 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-16 16:23
No I don't really get your drift... please elaborate...
69 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-17 23:15
70 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-19 06:07
I don't get your drift...
71 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-19 18:28
Wanted posters?
72 Name: [email protected] 2017-07-19 21:33
Just answer the question everyone wants. Where the best pizza shop at
73 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-19 22:27
There was/is an area outside of Phnom Penh once known for pizza. You can't tourist a place like that. Either you're partaking in a crime or you are a libiability with a cell phone camera.

So, just don't go.

Shit, just read a little about Koe Tao in Thailand and the number of murders and dissappeared. Why, cos they pissed off the wrong person at a bar.
74 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 01:15
missing persons posters with your face on it. "Joe was last seen in...any word of his..."
75 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 04:02
This guy wants pizza
Why would you go to Cambodia to eat pizza? Can someone explain? I don't get it.
76 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 06:49
Street vendors will give you the shits, food in general will give you the shits. Water will give you the shits... Welcome to the third world, where everyone gets the shits
77 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 09:36
Weed pizza is happy pizza is good pizza
78 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 12:22
More white dudes going to south east Asia to bang children.

Awesome never change bro!
79 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 13:46
Yeah it should be, just get some bitches, get high if you can and you know you won't get fucked so badly you won't get mugged, fuck and drink
80 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 14:03
>>51, did a Pizza Hut and go nuts
81 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 14:23
Be 22
4 year realtionship with HS sweetheart
Tired of same pussy, wanting to mix it up, not entirely sure how she feels about it
Say fuck it and browse Casual Encounters on local Craigslist
Guy seekin MMW threesome
Says he has a slut on speeddile who wants to fuck him again but with another guy to shake things up
After some talking and planning, he talks with her and organizes the threesome at his joint on the weekend
didn't bother getting pics of her because i trusted his word when he said she was hot, i really didn't care
Weekend comes, get the go ahead to head to his place, girl said she was out with friends so i called and said the same thing
Feeling iffy about the whole ordeal but whatever
Arrive, meet the guy, girl isn't there yet but he says she is on the way
He's a pretty chill bro, i go use his bathroom to get ready
While in the bathroom I hear the door open to a familiar voice
I come out of the bathroom
It's my fucking GF
I laugh, she's in shock, her jaw hits the floor
Guy picks up on the fact that we know eachother and there was no hiding it
After some talking, we agree to all fuck anyway
Be 28 now
Still together
Be a swinging married couple
Shit is cash
Couldn't be happier
82 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 14:40
I'm 23 now, just saying

be 15
want to try sucking a dick
post ad
really hot guy with a huge dick responds
fuck yes
meet him
he's fat and old
he grabs my wrist and tells me to wait a second
puts my hand in his pants
yep, that's definitely that massive dick, was just an old picture from when he was younger
drive out to the middle of nowhere with him
he sits on the hood of his car
start blowing him
he tells me to turn around and pull my pants down
nope, I said no anal, I just want to try giving head
he said he just wanted to see my cute little butt
he grabs my waist and starts to pull me down towards his dick
he grabs my arm and twists it behind my back then slams me face down on the hood of his car
please god no
raped me, had never put anything in my butt before then, and he was huge, not exaggerating, he was at least 8 inches and fairly girthy, and there was no lube
most painful thing I've ever felt, and he came inside me
he drove off and left me there
had to walk several miles home with a bleeding asshole
ignore parents when I get in and go to the shower
sit down and cry while blood and cum drain out of my butt

Never again. Don't do craigslist hookups
83 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 14:57
seeking heels on CL for crossdressing
find seller not that far from me
she has 4 pairs for sale and I wana buy em all
day comes to go buy em
she asked who they were for and told her its for me and shit, didnt care its CL
arrive at womans house 8/10 35yr old woman
check out heels and shit chatting about my fetish for crossdressing
she offers a discount if I wear em for her with some girly clothes on
fuck it, discount!
gives me a dress and some panties with leggings to wear
model them for her a bit in her lounge
she got really into it and complimented me the whole time
comes over to me and starts touching me and shit, rubs my dick and ass
ends up sucking my dick
sticks finger in my ass and soon has 2 up there and going at it
feels like heaven
bust nut in her mouth
she seems to love this shit
ends up giving me 3 pairs of the heels and says I need to return sometime for the 4th pair
thats when it all began
I had a kinky ass dom who loved using me and letting her friends watch/use me too
84 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 15:15
18 years old, 2010
Just moved to new city
There's a girl that I think is interested in me
I've always wanted to try sucking a cock, so now's my chance before I ask out this girl
Find a guy on Craigslist a few miles away
Meet up at his place
Trade blowjobs, 69, etc...
Was fun, but he kept wanting to make out with me and he sucked at it
Kept slamming his teeth into mine which started hurting
He said I was great at sucking cock
I accidentally cum a little early and it gets all over my shirt
He cums a few minutes later, I swallow it all
stop at Walmart next to his house on my way home to grab a new shirt while mine was covered in cum (didn't want my roommates to know what was up)

Next day

texting now
meet up during his lunch and blow him in his office
it's a self-storage facility
He apparently owns the place and runs the office
Shuts the blinds, locks the door, and puts up a 'Come back soon' sign
Still keeps trying to make out with me, but I'm just not into it
I get on my knees and give him another blowjob
Swallow it all again
Leave and head home

The next weekend

Go up to hometown for the weekend (only about 60 miles away, takes about an hour to drive)
Cl dude tries to contact me for another meetup
Tell him I'm out of town for the weekend, but we can do something when I get back
On Sunday a band I was friends with was playing a gig in the city I moved to (friends with all the members since middle school)
Drive down and see the band
CL dude tries to call me and I text him back to let him know I'm at a concert
He asks where
I reply [city name]
He gets pissed off at me because I said I'd be out of town for the weekend and apparently it's his business where I am
Wtf, why is this dude so clingy about a Craigslist oral hookup that he doesn't know at all??
He keeps telling me that I should have told him I'd be back in town and that he wants to meet up that night
Getting a little to creepy for me
Politely tell him to fuck off, never contact me again
Block his number and never log into the email account I used for Craigslist ever again

Just be careful of weird people. I think this guy was just a little neurotic and was desperate for a relationship without making that clear. Also being super possessive over someone you met on Craigslist for a blowjob is pathetic.
85 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 15:30
Ok so story time

be me, in 5th grade
my class had this sliding wall that would open to reveal the classroom next door
classroom next to us is same grade as us
we would sometimes sit in the middle of the two and watch videos on this ancient box tv
I find out my teacher was on the tv show The Price is Right
ok cool whatever
the kids are acting up, typical of us
teacher is getting a bit pissed at us
suddenly, one kid lets out this massive fart that echoed through the school halls
Everyone stares at the kid in shock
I'm the only one laughing
tfw the teacher sends me to the office for laughing
tfw kids laugh
tfw the kid who dropped a supersonic butt blast didn't get in trouble
fucking normie teacher sent me to the office for laughing at a fucking nuclear fart that could have powered several cities

Another story, because why not

be me, in 5th grade still
sitting in class, messing around with crap on my desk because ADHD I don't give a fuck what you say
Suddenly feel the urge to fart
lift up right asscheek preparing for nuclear blast
out pops a fucking golf ball sized turd
I panic, my right asscheek still hoisted high in the air
I casually asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom
she said hold it for a minute, I've got something important to say
tell her that I'm about to piss myself
she lets me go
turn the corner as soon as I walk out the door, a few steps later and the turd falls out of my pant leg
it rolls around on the ground for a bit
nobody saw, just keep on casually walking
Go to bathroom, clean up the mess of shit all over myself
walking back to class, and I notice the turd was stepped on
a line of kindergarten kids was walking by, and they pointed at the now flattened shit on the ground saying "COOKIE"
I just casually walked by as the teachers hurried the kids away from the flattened cookie turd
get back into classroom
notice a horrid smell
turns out it was the kid that sat next to me that stepped in the turd.
tfw I had to deal with the smell for the rest of the day
tfw karma got me instantly
smells worse than the piss bottles I have at home
86 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 15:55
Hey, /lounge/rs, I write erotica. I'd like feedback. Keep the threat from dying and I'll give a sample of what I wrote this morning.

If Kelli Greer had to describe herself in one word, the first she would apply to herself was ‘unremarkable’. This, however, wasn’t entirely accurate. The 19 year old college sophomore didn’t draw much attention to herself, but she was a truly beautiful woman. She stood at 5’4”, with long strawberry blond hair that she normally used to obscure herself as much as possible. She had blue eyes and pale skin, lightly freckled on the face with a short, but cute, nose. She wore thick rimmed glasses and normally dressed in sweat shirts and baggy jeans, concealing her slender, but naturally toned body and perky b-cup breasts.
Kelli was dutiful, having grown up an only child she accepted that she would have to go to college and earn her way in life. She’d been awarded a modest scholarship that paid for most of her education, while student loans covered the rest. She was studying biology at the U, and had a quiet passion for animals. She never got less than a B in any class, and kept to herself most of the time. She had one of the coveted single rooms in the women’s dorm, which she kept neat and tidy. She felt it was a necessity, given the small size of the room.

One Thursday afternoon, she found herself in the library looking through several books and taking notes for a paper she had coming up. This was where her life would change. A man sat down across the table from her. She ignored him initially, hoping he would leave, but it seemed it wasn’t the case.

She looked up to see a man just under six feet tall with short brown hair and a well trimmed goatee. He wore a plain blue t-shirt and jeans, under which he looked to be fit. He was probably in his late twenties. His face was not as pale as her own, but her eyes were immediately drawn to his own. They were a deep green, and glowed slightly. Were it dark, she figured they would have lit up his face eerily. “Hello, Kelli. I’ve been looking for you,” he said in a pleasant tone.

Pleasant or not, he unsettled her, and Kelli shifted back in her seat and swallowed. “Um,” she said quietly, “who are you? And what does an Art user want with me?” she asked. She wanted to look away; looking away from people was her normal response to attention. It had kept her out of the spotlight since she was a child. However, her eyes stayed transfixed on him.

The man chuckled, “I’m sorry, Kelli, manners aren’t my strong point. My name is Ryan Davis.” He offered her a hand, which she meekly, awkwardly accepted. He had a firm grip, and held her hand a bit longer than she was comfortable with. “I’ve spent the past few months looking for you. I didn’t know who you were until today,” he explained, “but I’m certain you’re the perfect girl.”

Kelli blushed, something she did rather easily, and finally found the strength to turn her head away, eyes falling to a book on the table to the side of her. “I doubt I’m of any interest to you,” she replied, hoping it was true. “There’s nothing special about me.”

Ryan grinned wide, his upper row of pearly white teeth put on display. He leaned forward to whisper softly to her, such that no one else could hear, “Kelli, there’s a freak inside you. A freak you want to let out, to enjoy things no human woman could or should experience.” He reached into his pocket and produced something.

Kelli’s eyes snapped back to him, her face even more flush than it had been before. “That’s not-” she choked on the words and shook her head. She leaned close to him, matching his tone. “You can’t possibly know that. I don’t know how you found me, but I can’t possibly be who you’re looking for.” Even as she spoke, lewd and lurid notions flitted through her mind. She tried not to think too much about them.

Ryan leaned across the gap between them and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Kelli couldn’t comprehend why she didn’t pull away. It was the first time anyone had kissed her, outside of relatives. She flushed a new shade of crimson, as he whispered in her ear, “I’ll be your master, Kelli. I’ll bring your every fantasy to reality. Even the impossible ones.” He opened his hand as he leaned back and revealed a collar. It was made of white-gold link and studded around it with five sapphires. He moved to place it around her neck.

The young woman snapped back to reality and stopped him, putting a hand against the collar before he could complete the motion. “No,” she said weakly, then cleared her throat. “No,” she said again, this time with conviction, and glared at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, louder than she intended, and caught the glances of a few of the other students mulling about the library. She glanced around before her gaze returned to him, her complexion slowly returning to normal. “I’m not some pet,” she whispered. “I have an education ahead of me, and a career to focus on after that. I’m not interested.”

Ryan looked disappointed, frozen in that pose, about to have placed a collar around the woman’s neck. He closed his eyes, concealing their glow, and took a deep breath, pondering. After a few seconds, he opened them. He gave the slightest nod. “Alright, but think about it,” he said softly. He moved a hand to her own, his skin warm against hers, sending tingles through her body. He closed her fingers around the collar. “Keep it, as a gift,” he told her.

He released her hand, and suddenly she was aware of the cold air of the library. He stood and pushed in the chair before walking away, leaving her with a collar in hand. Just like that, he was gone. She felt the world around her fall back into place, and didn’t realize just how focused on him she had been while he was there.

She opened her hand and examined the collar. It had to be worth an obscene amount of money. It was made of white gold rings woven together to form was seemed more like a cloth than chain mesh, fine as they were. The sapphires that studded it were a quarter inch across, and somehow seemed to be woven into it, impossible as such a thing was. There was no obvious way to clasp it shut, but there was a ring on what was presumably the front, where a leash might be attached.

To be on a leash and collar, the idea sent shivers down her spine, even heat to her core, but she pushed those thoughts aside and shoved the collar into a side pocket on her book bag, for lack of something better to do with it. She tried to go back to her studies, but all memory of what she had been doing had fled her, even as she looked at her notes. She growled in frustration and closed the books, standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder. She placed the books she’d pulled from the shelf on the counter for the librarians to put away as she headed for the exit, but paused before stepping through the threshold.
Kelli turned, her gaze sweeping the shelves of books, the counter, the computers, and handful of students working on projects. She hesitated, then made her way to one of the computers. She sat down and pulled up a catalog, checking the number where she could find it. She then went to the shelf and found a book that was at least twenty years old, and had seen some use in the past, but dust indicated it had been a few years. She took it back to the counter and checked it out, avoiding the gaze of the librarian behind the counter before she scampered out the door.

Back in her dorm room, her island of safety, Kelli pulled out the book she’d checked out. It was titled Users of the Art, a poorly understood subject. She read about them, about their past, which most had considered to be myths, until they re-emerged in the past thirty years. Even when they did re-appear, or perhaps simply come out of hiding, they were a rarity among mankind. Any attempt at a census had only shown there were perhaps a hundred in the entire world at any given time.

They could do… well, anything, it seemed. There was no limit to their power, their ability. They existed outside the laws of man. They could take and do what they wanted, but there were limitations. Self-imposed, it would seem, as only other Art users could do anything about them. They could not harm, unless in self defense. They could not cast spells upon people who were not willing. They could not cause famine, nor other disasters or calamities. The most interesting limitation, she found, was that they could not hold any office of power of any sort, be it in a government or private industry.

After finishing reading the chapters that felt relevant, and feeling she had a better understanding of who she was dealing with, she slipped the book back into her bag. She glanced toward her computer, licking her lips. After a minute of contemplation, she got up and made certain her door was locked. She sat down in front of the computer, booting it up. She typed in her password, and watched as the home screen came into view. She pulled up a browser and typed the address she knew by heart. She didn’t have bookmarks, not favorites list, and her history was cleared every time she closed the browser.

While she considered herself to be unremarkable, she did, in fact, have a taste for the taboo. It was her deepest, darkest secret, and she hid it well from the world. She pulled up a web sight hosting innumerable stories, filthy, forbidden writing. She was going to click on a link to a new one, one she’d thought looked especially raunchy, and paused. She was still wearing clothes.

She stood up, shedding her sweater, her undershirt, and her bra, letting her breasts bounce free. She caressed her nipples, sighing softly at the fantastic sensation. She pulled her hands away from her chest as she kicked off her shoes to pull her socks off, then buttoned her jeans and shimmed them down her thighs, imagining for a moment of excitement that Ryan was watching her. Her face flushed, and she felt her panties dampen before she managed to get them off. She kept her slit meticulously shaved, sporting only a small landing strip of strawberry blond pubic hair. Fully nude, she sat back down in her chair and clicked the link.

With one hand on the mouse, the other between her legs, caressing her soaked nether lips, it couldn’t have been more than a minute before she got off the first time, shoving a sock in her mouth as she moaned what she imagined would have otherwise been loud enough for the entire dorm to hear. She had no toys… she’d never dared set foot in a sex shop, even though she’d fantasized about it many times. However, she was quite familiar with her body, and knew how to get herself off.

She sat in that chair for an hour, getting off three more times before she was exhausted enough to go to bed. As she slept, her dreams were filled with all the things that drove her wild, all the things she wanted but could only fantasize about. Those things couldn’t really happen, could they?

The following morning, Kelli got up and showered and shaved her legs as well as her slit, keeping it smooth and wonderful the way she liked it. After toweling off, she put on a pair of lacy black panties, a bra to match, and a sweater over it as well as one of several pairs of loose fitting jeans. Normally she wore a shirt beneath the sweater, but it was supposed to be a bit warmer today, and the sweater was knit tight enough that no one would be able to see through it.

After brushing her hair and teeth, she grabbed her book bag. It spilled open as she went to lift it and she groaned in irritation. She went to scooping the books, binders, and papers back into it, and saw the collar.

The events of the previous evening flooded into her mind, and she could feel herself growing hot at the thoughts. She took a few deep breaths, calming herself. She was normally better about controlling herself and her body; she’d dealt with her strong sex drive for years, keeping it hidden during the day, and relieving herself in the evenings when she was alone. Still, even calming herself down, she looked down at the white-gold and sapphire collar. Really, it was a marvelous, beautiful thing. She picked it up gingerly and walked back to the bathroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror, realizing that she really wasn’t half bad. She never wore makeup, mostly because she didn’t want the attention, but also because she felt she didn’t need it. She imagined the collar around her neck. Even in her plain clothes, it would prove beautiful, she thought. She held it up in the mirror, in front of her neck, excitement once again tugging at her core. She carefully wrapped it around her neck, searching blindly for whatever clips would keep it in place.

She must have found them, because she felt it secure itself. She let her hands drop to the sink as she admired the way she looked with the collar on. It was comfortable, even seemed like it melded around her neck. She beamed in the mirror for a minute, then sighed and decided she needed to go about her day.

She reached back to feel for the clasps, but was unable to. It felt smooth all the way around. She pulled it around her neck, looking in the mirror for some sort of locking mechanism, but her eyes had to be failing her. It looked like a single round mesh of white gold ring, with five sapphires and a large ring for a leash. “How do you get this damned thing off?” she hissed, brows furrowed in irritation. She fiddled with it a bit longer, until she glanced back at the clock. Shit, shit, shit, she thought.

Kelli took a deep breath, looking at herself in the mirror. It was bound to attract a little bit of attention, more than she wanted. She turned it such that the ring for a collar was at least hidden by her hair. Honestly, only someone looking at her from the front would get look at it, given the way her hell fell around her. She grabbed her book bag, carefully this time, and walked out the door.

There, leaning against the wall of the hall of the strict women’s only dorm, was Ryan Davis. He was dressed this time in a button-down black shirt with thing, vertical, blue stripes, and a pair of black slacks to match. She looked down and saw dress shoes adorning his feet. “Ryan!” she hissed, glaring at him, “What are you doing here?!”

He chuckled, licking his lips as he pushed himself away form the wall and toward her. He slipped an arm around her waste, causing her to flinch, and led her down the hall toward the dorm office and exit. “I came to see you, of course. How are you this morning, Pet?”

She blushed deeply as he slipped his arm around her. She was quite certain that, prior to the kiss on the cheek the previous evening, she’d never been touched by a person in public. She tried unsuccessfully to shrug him off of her, and quickly gave up, though she couldn’t deny herself the tingle of excitement. “I’m not your pet,” she said, though the words were half forced. She was confused and conflicted with herself. She had opportunities, possibilities laid out before her, but she was scared. The fear only enhanced her excitement, but she wasn’t ready to admit it. “Please,” she pleaded, “take this collar off me. I don’t want to be seen with it on.”

He stopped their stride and turned her to face him, hand moving to her hips. “Kelli,” he said, looking into her eyes and, she felt, probably her soul. “By putting the collar on, you agreed to be my pet. Technically,” he said, the fingers of his right hand drifting from her hip to the juncture of her thighs, caressing her trough her jeans. “I can do whatever I want to you, now.” She looked at him, tears welling in her eyes, paralyzed with fear even as her sex grew damp, to the point she was afraid he could feel or even see it all the way through her jeans. He continued to tease between her legs as he leaned in close, whispering in her ear, “Do you really want me to release you? I’ll give you this one chance. One chance to be free. I’ll vanish, and you’ll never see me again. Or,” he said, fingers moving up to pop open the button of her jeans, “I’ll do everything you ever wanted, and everything you never knew you wanted.”

His fingers pulled the zipper of her jeans down, and she lost all control. It felt like lightning ran through her body. She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder to muffle her scream of ecstasy as she came. She gripped him, convulsing and shivering, shuddering. There was no hiding the damp spot at the crotch of her jeans now, and if she thought about it she’d realize even her sweater and bra couldn’t hide how erect her nipples were. “Oooh, fuuck,” she groaned, mouth still pressed against his shirt. She would have collapsed on the floor if eh hadn’t held onto her. She moved her face back enough to gasped for air, heart pounding in her chest. “Please,” she wined, “please don’t release me,” she whimpered. She looked up at him, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. “I’ll be your pet,” she whispered, “Master.”

Aaaand that's what I've managed in a couple hours. Any comments? Should I keep writing?
87 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-20 16:11
You actually got me to read this bullshit with my own damn eyes
88 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 00:37
anything you want to share with us, anon?
89 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 05:24
How do I make my German Shepherd less of a pussy?
Other dog comes over
Small black rottweiler
they interact a little and the rottweiler wants to play harder
rottweiler starts playing rough and GS gets scared and runs away
Later that day
GS is cowering in fear in the kitchen
rottweiler comes and goes fucking wild on GS
GS just sits there while I try to pry the rottweiler of her
90 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 08:50
I really miss my ex and want to win her back. How do I do that /RedCream/?
91 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 11:36
Graft a BBC to yourself
92 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 11:37
fap you will find out that way
93 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 17:10
Get off 4ct

Go to gym

Get a life
94 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 19:57
Why did the two of you break up?
95 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-21 22:44
i want the same thing, in my case its never going to happen and it hurts. Your circumstances will be different, depends entirely what age you both are, location etc
96 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-22 01:31
Google The Red Pill
97 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-22 04:18
Move on

Running back to an ex is pathetic
She knows it
She will never respect you

Move on with your life.
98 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-22 07:05
I'm kinda drunk right now, but I'll tell you this. Don't go back to her. I made that mistake, and it only gifted me with her cheating on me, followed by 6 months of anti depressants, and then another 6 months of me fucking any girl that I could. It may hurt now, and you may want to feel her love, but if she left you, there's a reason. If she comes back, there will always be that doubt in her mind that she could have someone else. In my opinion OP, you should better yourself and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. It won't be immediate, but then again, neither would crawling back to your ex. Crawling back to her would mean that she wins. She has the upper hand, she has you wrapped around her finger. She can do whatever she wants to you, and you'll apologize. Don't do that, don't be like me, get your ass out there, find someone who deserves you. You're better than this man, I don't even know who the fuck you are, but I'm telling you, there are other girls out there that would be delighted to have you. Be happy, enjoy yourself, don't make your happiness tied to her, create your own happiness, and become better through that shit
99 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-22 18:13
100 Name: Anonymous 2017-07-22 19:33

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